Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Ash's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, March 30th, 2005
1:09 pm	shit i forgot i had this thing again... Current Mood: drained Current Music: aids by spoc llik (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 22nd, 2005
4:37 am	oh shit wow... i forgot i even had this thing. (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 12th, 2004
6:54 pm	blah blah blah california here i come. j-hawk is a sweetie! yesterday was the worst day of my life... i had to be around jake and anthony at the same place. i lost my vest, never to be seen again. i got pissed on. i got caught by the cops. oh blah. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 3rd, 2004
1:57 pm	ok im supposed to be leaving with all my stuff in the middle of the night and meeting terry and everyone with jennifer. cross your fingers it all works out... (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004
11:42 pm	holy fuck i havent been on this since like february. so i left home, four days later i got caught and had to come here to my grandpa's in henderson. hopefully ill run the fuck away and live with friends or go to cali for the summer, then a week before school starts, ill go back to my crazy mom's house, sleep the summer off, and go be bored for another nine months. ok so after a year and a half, anthony and i have broken up. it was weird at first, especially now that im being informed of the people who like me. i dont really want to put this on here, but it needs to get to anthony somehow, and i dont want to tell him. so, i got laid on thursday... drunk as fuck. i felt horrible afterward... after a year and a half of one person, a new person is weird. i wanted to die for a few days, but im ok now. i guess it happens to everyone, the 'second person'. i just wish it was soberly because i dont even think he likes me anyway. so lcb may be coming. im going to california for sure by the 10th and staying for 11 days with dusty... ill get to see clit 45, the krays, and my crusty friends' band, futile dispute. ill give someone a kiss if they bring me a cigarette. Current Mood: anxious Current Music: nausea - body of christ (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 21st, 2004
11:03 pm	I want to put this on BME I'd have to say the dumbest thing to do would be to take a piercing out before it is completely healed. Believe me, I know, you'll just end up doing it again because you WANT it! Alright, I'll tell you about my tongue piercing experience. When I was 15, I bought a barbell from the mall. When I got home, I went into my bathroom with a small safety pin, a thich dull needle, and peroxide. Now, obviously the barbell is quite large compaired to a small safety pin. I pushed the safety pin through, and took it out to put the dull needle through (because it would widen the hole), but of COURSE it wouldn't go through. After inserting and taking out the safety pin, I finally made a big enough hole for the big needle. I put that in, while drooling all over my silly self, and then I finally got the barbell in. Needless to say, the multiple holes made by the safety pin made my tongue swell up like a balloon. After about a day and a half I gave up, took it out, and painfully ate some ravioli. Now, like I was saying in the beginning, you NEVER take a piercing out before it's fully healed. About a month later I was back in that bathroom doing the exact same thing. But this time, like an idiot, I had a barbell that was too long to put through your tongue and comfortably sit in your mouth. So, I had a swollen tongue for nothing... again. OK, so you're thinking that I'm an idiot. Well, maybe, but I tried again. This time I got one of those sharp large safety pins that are a little BIGGER than a 14 gauge tongue ring. I only had to slide it in and out of my tongue twice, then I pushed my new rightly-sized barbell right in! I was all happy and dandy, until a few days later. I started to realize that the bottom of my mouth was being scraped up by the barbell. I tried to ignore it, I didn't know if it was supposed to do that. But when I coughed and a large piece of gums was knicked off, I figured the piercing was too far forward. Finally, the last time I did it. Before school, i put that big safety pin half way through the whole from the top, and then i forced a new path through the bottom so it was farther back. After about 5 days I could talk normally, eat normally, and be happy that I didn't have to do it again! I'd say the best thing for you to do would be do it professionally. It is plainly a waste of time to do it 4 times to get it right. But, if your 16 like me and your parents wont take you, then this is what you should do. Make sure the needle is at least the same size as the barbell. Make sure the barbell is clean - peroxide or sterilized in boiling water. Go straight through the middle, far back enough where it will lay comfortably in the back under you tongue, and once the needle is in, leave it in for a minute before you take it out. The faster you take it out, the less likely the barbell is to go through. Next I'm going for my lip. Maybe I'll tell you about that one after I screw it up 4 times! BYE! Current Mood: uncomfortable Current Music: Stiff Little Fingers - Get a Life (4 Comments |Comment on this)
3:59 pm	revlon torture my hair smells like jake. ew. thats when you know you need to wash it. now they're medicating me. who knew. "wash that bottle of asprin down with a bottle of vodka..." (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 6th, 2004
9:16 pm	le cafe bleu french project... il est tres bete lol. uh anyway. je t'adore mon petit ami. (or, me heart anthony). anyway, steve got a lj! woo hoo! school is evil. i feel like im wading in a deep pool of feces (i feel like shit). my body has forgotten how to sleep. i just stare at the wall for 4 hours until i passo out. ive gotten 5 hours sleep in the past 3 days... my legs are sore from walking and running a total of 3 hours... im starving... i have sores under my eyes from not sleeping... my back hurts so bad! and my fucking head is aching. so, i think ill cry now? wait i did that already today. eh, nobody cares. ill go die now. if i could have anything in the world i wanted ... i would either go for a back rub from bunny, or for all of my homework to suddenly be finished! i cant stay awake at the computer or at a desk in school, but as soon as i get in my most comfortable bed ever, my body wont sleep. life is fucked. fuck me. Current Mood: i have never felt this awful Current Music: my throbbing brain (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 4th, 2004
5:40 pm	anguished and pugnacious yesterday and the day before i got to be with anthony all day. im happy. he had a picture of a girl that i dont want him having a picture of so i ate it. well, i spit it out, but i almost fully ate it. then i was depressed the rest of the night. he was mad cuz i called his friend hot. so we get jealous too easily. its ok, he is hotter than his friend anyway. yum... anthony in pajama pants and glasses. can i eat him please? anyway, i havent been writing much at all lately cuz i dont have computer access but once or twice a week. lame. xmas was lame. i got a new denim jacket. and some 20 eye docs. yum. the show on the 27th was lame, but when we left half-way through and hung out at the 24-hour taco place, it was a dandy ol' time. me, candace, j hawk, lee, dustin, and terry. and my mom gave candace, dustin, and terry a ride home, and we listened to a screamo demo in the car and got car-sick lol. j hawk has a cool room. and lee lives at the foot of his bed. candace will someday see what he looks like under that blonde mop. haha. k, homework time. maybe ill be bored later and enlighten more with the interesting details of my youth. (cough.) Current Mood: sore Current Music: religion is a scam! -agt (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, January 2nd, 2004
1:29 am	ok ok so new years eve... what happened? i dont remember. yay. and ummm... candace is a doll! Current Mood: lazy Current Music: major accident
Saturday, December 27th, 2003
1:16 pm	shit anthony is either in jail or died. someone shoot me. i need 6 bucks. (Comment on this)
Monday, December 22nd, 2003
12:30 am	oh my god you know life is worth living when your love still gives you butterflies after a year. and the words he says to you... make you want to live forever. Current Mood: in awe of love (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 21st, 2003
10:33 pm	stole from gab! LAST... :x: movie you rented = clockwork orange - need to buy :x: movie you bought = breakfast club :x: song you listened to = unseen - traditions :x: song that was stuck in your head = muffinfilms.com :x: cd you bought = subhumans :x: cd you listened to = unseen - explode :x: person you've called = steve or matt :x: person that's called you = steve, i wasnt here tho! :x: tv show you've watched = its been a long time... :x: person you were thinking of = my pirate :x: you have a bf or gf = yes thank god :x: you have a crush on someone = yes my pirate :x: you wish you could live somewhere else = boston :x: you think about suicide = sometimes :x: you believe in online dating = no that is idiotic :x: others find you attractive = hopefully not :x: you want more piercings = yes, want a list? cartilage, lip, neck, eyebrow, and tongue... if not more... :x: you drink = once in a blue moon :x: you like cleaning = never :x: you like roller coasters = of course! :x: you write in cursive or print = capital letters :x: you carry a donor card = not yet WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT: :x: long distance relationships = never had one :x: using someone = thats horrible! :x: killing people = depends if they deserve it :x: teenage smoking = have fun! :x: premarital sex = sure if you're in love only. :x: driving drunk = silly. :x: gay/lesbian relationship = have fun! :x: soap operas = bad acting. FAVORITE... :x: food = chilli with ten dashes of tabasco :x: song = singin in the rain! :x: thing to do = things with my pirate... things... ha! :x: thing to talk about = politics :x: sports = i like to watch skaters :x: drinks = moloko :x: clothes = bondage pants and bullet belts... :x: movies = clockwork orange, american history x, slc punk, :x: band/singer = lcb :x: holiday = whenever i get stuff HAVE YOU... :x: ever cried over a guy/girl = yes :x: ever lied to someone = yes :x: ever been in a fist fight = not yet :x: ever been arrested = not yet NUMBER... :x: of times I have been in love? = 2 :x: of times I have had my heart broken? = 2 :x: of hearts I have broken? = uhhh, 1? :x: of boys I have kissed? = 6? 7? :x: of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life = anthony, steve, crystal. :x: of people I consider my enemies? one. :x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: none but my real dad was on the front page once! haha! :x: of things in my past that I regret? = one most of all - anthony knows what it is. it makes me wish i died sometimes. FAVORITE... :x: disney movie = peter pan :x: scent = my pirate :x: thing = music :x: word = rassoodock :x: nickname = candace calls me zipper kid. :x: guy name = adam, hayden, alex :x: girl name = aeaea, alex :x: eye color = steve's blue or dan's brown :x: piercing = side lip (oh the hotness) :x: actress/actor = hayden christensen DO YOU THINK YOU ARE... :x: pretty = no :x: funny = no :x: friendly = i dont like to talk :x: amusing = no :x: ugly = i hope not :x: loveable = no, but some think otherwise :x: optimistic = no :x: caring = yes always :x: sweet = i dont know :x: dorky = with my smart-words haha :x: Spell your first name back wards : nereg :x: The story behind your user name: lower class brat was too long, so i took second from 'second class citizen' from the forgotten :x: Where do you live?: vegas :x: 1 word that sum you up: alive? WHO or WHAT (was/is/are)- :x: In my mouth = my teeth :x: in my head = anthony's face :x: Talking to = matt and anthony :x: Eating =omg im so hungry! :x: Fetishes = heh... what i want im never telling... :x: Person you wish you could see right now = bunny :x: Is next to you = my brother! :x: Something you're looking forward to in this up coming month = my two hundred bucks for xmas :x: Something that you are deathly afraid of? umm, well anthony leaving me. :x: Do you like candles = yes :x: Do you like incensT = hells yes :x: Do you like the taste of blood = yes :x: Do you believe in love = usually :x: Do you believe in soul mates = i dont know. thats too complicated for me. :x: Do you believe in love at first sight = no-only lust at first sight. :x: What do you want done with your body when you die: launch it to the sun :x: Who is your worst enemy? bailee :x: If you could have any animal for a pet: a leopard :x: What is the latest you've ever stayed up: a whole day :x: Ever been to Belgium?: no... :x: Can you eat with chopsticks: yes :x: What are 5 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to?: boston, new york, van nuys, santa monica, or phoenix :x: whats something that you wish people would understand? that emo kids need to just kill themselves. :x: Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time and want to kill?: this question confuses me why would i miss somebody and want to kill them? :x: Something you want to make happen for tomorrow: suddenly have a lot of money to buy anthony everything i want to get him for christmas (OK I WAS BORED! LIKE YOU CARE!) Current Mood: hungry Current Music: having muffinfilms stuck in my head (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, December 19th, 2003
4:53 pm	beat me down... i kicked about 9 holes in my dresser. now my mother wants to take me to a shirk. fuck. i cant deal with my thoughts. i cant keep up schoolwork. i cant think straight. nobody's out there! so my lovely candace is back. she wanted me to go somewhere with her tomorrow, and of course im grounded for staying at anthony's last thursday night. britney was smoking bud at lunch. i was envious. candace wants me to smoke bud with her tomorrow before the movie. oh, my luck. i have to stay amidst the madness and do it soberly. fuck me. i think ill be crying before anthony can hold me. the one good thing, and i have to suffer here without him... (soberly again, might i add...) Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: so sick of you - the unseen (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 14th, 2003
7:39 pm	new... http://www.livejournal.com/users/desensitize_me/ written during the worst month of my life... (Comment on this)
5:55 pm	oh blah so hours later after my last post, we made it seem like i "just showed up" at anthony's house. but then my parents called and who was busted... me! so my mom came and picked me up and it was silence until we got home, then she picked up my brother. we went to the dmv and got i.d.s and then the health district and got shots (ouch) and temporary health cards. so i can get a job now. woah, i can get a job!?!??! thats crazy! ive been told that i cant get a job ever, and now they're letting me because i 'have too much time on my hands'. there ya go. so end. Current Mood: full Current Music: my brother's sims music (Comment on this)
Friday, December 12th, 2003
7:22 am	the events didnt go home - stayed with person a - didnt go to school because person a's car broke - waiting for him to eat breakfast and his parents to sleep/work so there is no trouble for me. end. Current Mood: comfy-wokeup to person a Current Music: my typing (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 11th, 2003
5:49 pm	im having my ear bit anthony is biting my ear. so, as you see, i am with him. next. the step-dad shoved me while i was on the computer and i hit a bunch of crates. ouch. what a faggot. yeah, so my mom wants a restraint order on anthony against me. like as if that is gonna happen. idiots. so they said they'll send me to juvy. like i care. my mom said 'a bunch of dikes will kick my ass' there. shes a whore. i hope her and my faggot ass stepdad burn in hell. new note. if i do run away, then i love you all. but i doubt it will happen. at least not presently. yeah i guess im a pussy. but i want to anyway. it kinda ruins my plans of getting good grades and college and stuff if i dropped out of school, so i guess thats why im not doing it. maybe ill find a great reason to get a forced emancipation, like provoke my dad until he beats me with a bat or something. it would be worth it. then i could get out. end. Current Mood: gloomy Current Music: silence (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 10th, 2003
4:52 pm	"oh oi" i took notes in school today... arent you proud? today is my mom's birthday. i am broke. she's 41. i bought her pink nail polish and an abba zabba (she's obsessed). she is insane. 41 and insane. if i turn out like her ill shoot myself. but hey, its her birthday. im getting all pissed off cuz the picture of edward furlong isnt showing up on my computer. i will try to look at it again later... maybe it will work then. i havent seen bunny in 2 days so im sad. hes busy usually. ummm, ill be going out with my mom to eat but then she is leaving with my dad for a couple hours, so maybe if bunny isnt busy then he'll come over for a short time. ok, lets see... ooh hopefully debby will take me to get my lip pierced after christmas. yay. excited. oh joy. anyway, im gonna go. peace niggers Current Mood: amused Current Music: blanks 77 - killer blanks (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 7th, 2003
10:12 pm	just like clockwork by the way, my other sn is: Moloko Plus Oi oi! oi! oi! etc... (Comment on this)